REACTION BABY!!!!

When you reflect on life, you will see that many of the things that happen to a person are not inherently good or bad. Rather, it is just a matter of how each person chooses to react to a given situation.

Crisis del Cuarto de Vida

Le llaman la "crisis del cuarto de vida". Te encuentras a ti mismo desafanandote de la multitud mas que en cualquier otro momento de tu vida. Te empiezas a dar cuenta de que hay un montón de cosas sobre ti de las que no sabias y que quizá no te gusten. Te empiezas a sentir inseguro y te preguntas donde estarás en un año o dos, pero luego te asustas al darte cuenta que apenas sabes donde estas ahorita. Te empiezas a dar cuenta que algunas personas son egoístas y que a lo mejor, esos amigos que creías cercanos no son exactamente las mejores personas que has conocido y que la gente con las que has perdido contacto resultan ser amigos de los mas importantes para ti. De lo que no te das cuenta es que algunos de los amigos de los que te has alejado se están dando cuenta de lo mismo y que la mayoría de ellos no son malos o deshonestos realmente, pero están tan confundidos como tu. Ves tu trabajo y quizá no este ni un poco cerca a lo que pensabas que estarías haciendo, o Quizás estés buscando algún trabajo y piensas que tienes que comenzar desde abajo y te da un poco de miedo. Y extrañas la comodidad de la escuela, de los grupos, de socializar con la misma gente de forma constante. Pero te empiezas a dar cuenta que mientras algunos eran verdaderos amigos, otros no eran tan especiales después de todo. Te empiezas a entender a ti mismo y sobre lo que quieres y lo que no. Tus opiniones se vuelven mas fuertes. Ves lo que los demás están haciendo y te encuentras a ti mismo juzgando un poco mas de lo usual porque de repente tienes ciertos lazos en tu vida y adicionas cosas a tu lista de lo que es aceptable y de lo que no lo es. Te sientes seguro y luego inseguro. Ríes y lloras con la mas grande fuerza de tu vida. A veces te sientes genial e invencible y otras, solo y con miedo y confundido. De repente el cambio es el enemigo y tratas de aferrarte al pasado, pero pronto te das cuenta que el pasado cada vez se aleja mas y mas y que no hay mas que hacer que quedarte donde estas o seguir avanzando.Te rompen el corazón y te preguntas como alguien a quien amaste tanto te pudo hacer tanto daño. O quizá te acuestes por las noches y te preguntes por que es que no puedes conocer a alguien lo suficientemente interesante como para querer conocerlo mejor (y si la acabas de conocer te niegas a que te conozca como eres). Los ligues y las citas de una noche te empiezan a parecer baratos y emborracharte y actuar como un idiota empieza a parecerte verdaderamente estúpido. Y pareciera como si todos los que conoces empiezan a casarse, y quizá tu también ames realmente a alguien también, pero simplemente no estas seguro si estas listo para comprometerse por el resto de tu vida aun. Atraviesas por las mismas emociones y preguntas una y otra vez, y hablas con tus amigos sobre los mismos temas simplemente porque no terminas de tomar una decisión. Te preocupas por prestamos y dinero y el futuro y por hacer una vida para ti. Y mientras ganar la carrera seria grandioso, ahorita tan solo quisieras estar compitiendo en ella. Lo que puede que no te des cuenta es que todos lo que estamos leyendo esto nos identificamos con ello. Somos nuestros mejores momentos y nuestros peores momentos, tratando de descifrar esto lo mejor que podemos... es una de las mejores etapas de nuestras vidas...

ANOTHER ONE WENT BY...2008

I woke up and it was 2008!!! Oh my God.

I lay motionless in bed thinking how did the world spin it's way around to 2008!!!


This year has caught me by surprise. It's like the night was here and the day was gone. I let the year go by, I said goodbye to my old friends from college who were my new friends. I said goodbye to my family and moved on to a life I still dont know. it felt like the whole world was moving and I was standing still.

And everything I said that I would do like make life brand new and take the time to do things, I just slept right through and somehow I got lost in 2007. The world kept spinning on.

It's January 1st, 2008!!! Another day gone...another year just gone!


The world simply spins madly on... HAPPY NEW YEAR AGAIN :)

::SEEDS OF LOVE::

from The Rules of Attraction

Got you, you are mine now for the rest of the day, week, month, year, for life. Have you guessed who I am? Sometimes when your scanning a crowd I feel those sultry dark eyes of yours stop on me. Are you too afraid to come up to me and let me know how you feel? I want to moan and writhe with you,and I want to go up to you and kiss your mouth and pull you to me and say "love you, loveyou, loveyou, loveyou" while stripping. I want you so bad it stings.I wanna kill the ugly girls you're always with.Do you really like those boring, naive, coy, calculating girls, or is it just for sex? These seeds of love have taken hold and if we won't burn together, I'll burn alone.

:::MY HIDDEN PARADISE:::

There is a place in the world hidden in the same passage of the sun...

Native of the night, placed in an improbable alcohol and sugar archipelago...

Simply light, like a wing of bat supported in the breeze...

Fruity, simply fluvial, and material. Nevertheless simply torrid and kicked like an adolescent in the hips. Simply sad and pressed. Sincerely rustic and depopulated...

In truth. With two million in it...in the meantime adds to life and four cardinal mountain ranges and one immense bay and another immense bay...

Some love will think that in this fluvial place in which the Earth appears like a broken vein that spills and, where the day has its true triumph...

This love will break its solitary innocence. But no, it will think that in the middle of this increased earth, where it wants, where mountains by valleys like fresh blue currencies roll, where it sleeps in every forest and in each flower... life...where my Paradise hides...

::RECUERDO ASFIXIANTE::

Casi te desnudé en plena calle y estarías de acuerdo que la ropa nos asfixiaba fueron los besos, las caricias, en ese momento te expresé que gente en la calle nos veia, solo a nosotros dos, no se si los besos, tus manos o las mías no se si ese cariño increíble junto a tu aroma o esa boca tuya, mía.

Estarías de acuerdo conmigo que la ropa provocaba un acento asfixiante en nuestros cuerpos que casi te desnudé en plena calle, a 20 metros de la esquina de tu casa y justo en frente del mar, pero, a cada minuto sin cesar la policia salía a rondar de a parejas y otras veces uno que otro acompañado con su libreta de multas y no nos dejaban tranquilos en ese terrible calor que entre tu yo tratábamos de calmar con modos particulares. Tú, tus manos, yo, las mías y la poca ropa que ya tenías. Casi te desnudé en plena calle. Qué habría dicho tu madre?, que habría dicho la mía? eso que importa, solo queríamos remediar ese terrible asfixiar que entre tu y yo teníamos.

Tu boca húmeda, tu cuerpo húmedo y tus manos que me querían... Cada vez que paso por esa esquina, bajo los arboles que nos daban sombra ese verano y nos ocultaba en las noches, recuerdo como tratabamos de remediar ese calor que sentíamos. Tus manos en mi espalda, en mi pecho, mis manos en tu espalda y los besos, en tu cuello y en tu pecho , tu boca. Tu y yo sabiamos que a metros de mi casa siempre nos deteniamos, yo te decía que me iba, tu me llamabas con cualquier excusa, me tomabas por las caderas y me abrazabas fuertemente a ti, besabas mi cuello siempre terminabas besando mas abajo del cuello pues sabías que eso quería como tu tambien lo querías... tu respirar y el mío se aceleraban y sentia tu aroma con el mio inundar todo ese pequeño mundo que habiamos creado en pocos segundos.

Recuerdo como ayer esas noches cuando me quedaba en tu cama, cuando mis padres viajaban a brasil o al norte de Chile, creo que hasta Australia. Y podia encender mi corazon y cuerpo con tu ser al hacer el amor y dormir abrazados toda la noche. Mas de alguna vez desperté pensando en que ellos llegaban y yo en tu cama aun dormia... que habria dicho tu madre? que habria dicho la mia...? desperte sobresaltada muchas veces creyendo escuchar tu nombre en la boca de tu padre o tu madre.

Asfixiantes noches de inviernos y primaveras que jamas olvidaré frente al mar. Mas de algún policía nos habría pillado en alguna ocasión, pero siempre disimulabamos, tu lo hacías mejor que yo...

Casi me desnudaste en plena calle, recordarás como yo que la ropa nos provocaba un calor asfixiante... fueron tus manos, quizás fueron las mias...

::PAIN::

Pain. You just have to write it out. Find the wound to make it heal. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breathe deep and wait for it to end. Most of the times pain can be managed, but sometimes it gets to you when you least expect it. Pain? You just have to fight through because the truth is you can't out run it.

Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? "Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer?Because it feels so good when I stop".

The Big Sky

I got this ego that got knocked down walking real slow staring at the ground.A million loners wake up every day. My life's not over just twisted out of place. Stop in my tracks to watch the clouds get tossed around... Suddenly that's all I can think about ...I've got the big sky to hold me, I've got my whole life unfolding. There's nobody to talk to so don't tell me that I need you. I'm on the other side of being lonely I've got the whole sky to hold me... I Take the train home almost every night and I talk to strangers just to feel alive. So I asked this lady when I was feeling bold "Am I going crazy or is this just getting old?" Half smiling she told me she misses being young when every moment just strikes the passion. She said "Girl, let yourself cry. You and your fears of feeling lost don't calculate the cost" I've got the big sky to hold me. I've got my whole life unfolding. There's nobody to talk to so don't tell me that I need you . I'm on the other side of being lonely ...

I've got the whole sky to hold me. Sometimes my skin is streched so far You can see right through into my beating heart .It's just a growing thing. Just when I think I'm gonna shrivel up I can feel the craving of love running through my veins and that'll never change I've got the whole sky to hold me, temporarily lonely And I needed to talk too just to find out I don't need you I've got the big sky to hold me, I've got my whole life unfolding There's nobody to talk to. So I'm starting up strong and new. I'm on the other side of being lonely.I've got the whole sky to hold me...

::SURVIVING::

The key to surviving college is denial. We deny that we're tired, we deny that we're scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed. And most importantly, we deny that we're in denial. We only see what we want to see and believe what we want to believe, and it works. We lie to ourselves so much that after a while the lies start to seem like the truth. We deny so much that we can't recognize the truth right in front of our faces

CHEERS 2007!!::I Propose and I hope::

The year 2006 was a good year and the good thing about the end of the year, is the beginning of a new one.

I believe Happiness is that sense of being with ourselves knowing what we are not and knowing what will never be and accept it. Trying to correct our defects and being better than the day before. We should try that more often.

The perfect man does not exist. If it would exist it would turn out to be a boring one. Someone told me that humans only stop having temptations when they are dead. That humans are capable of betrayal against themselves and conquer the impossible until the last moment. Here lies the secret of life and happiness or peace, whatever you may call it. Being human is being in a constant struggle and search.

2007 comes accompanied by dark omens. An inminent war, terrorism spread around the world, galoping inflation, the poor poorer, the kingdom of individualism multiplied by infinity, lack of faith, the dissapearing of ideals, the eagerness to have instant riches, lies as flags of men and governments. If anyone feels like adding more to these inventories you are welcome to do so, do it at your own risk and you may achieve a splendid depression if you choose to keep them.

Parting from the fact that life is too short and that we only have one to live, they have told me that if you clone yourself you can live longer. Those who are eager to stay, perhaps they will have new experiences to live. Us who have just this life to live, we have to defend it and take advantage of what's left of it. I propose that we seriously commit with happiness and honesty. That we fight the lack of love and hopelessness with exercises that help us become capable of stopping and preventing new waves that invade the world to strain in our world. I propose changes that do not depend on international organizations or governments, or depend on currency variations or painful tests.

Do the inventory of your life one more time (I do it every year) and decide intensely that you will be happy and that to be happy you will fight with all your strenghts the fear, the madness and the ideas that are sold to us everyday. Each of us can create our own recipe. Don't look at what you don't have, be grateful for what you have, embrace it and value it. Learn to love life with passion. Forget what you have lost, if you have to cry for it then do it for very little time. It does not make sense to cry for it irremediably. Forgive, forgive everything, it is the most important step to achieve true peace. I know it's hard but let it go into the hands of your God, if you have one, and if you don't have one let it go anyways. It will always come back to you with blessings or you will just have that sweet sensation that you have grown and you can continue to grow. Be friends with your silence, there is no better advisor.

Learn to love in pain. You can only trully love when it hurts, when it's hard to do it, when we have to give up our preferences for the ones of the loved one. That is the most difficult lesson to learn. We generally love when love is in harmony with our most intimate appetites. We love the son that pleases us, we love the friend who always agrees with our thoughts and actions, we love the partner who obeys our whims. True love takes time and it definitely hurts, but it is the one that pulls us nearer to God. I have learned to love my friends because of their defects more than their virtues.

Yesterday someone told me that young people get tired fast from loving. Once passion disappears they start to discover the defects and tons of motives to undo the commitment. Another added that young people get married thinking about divorce as an alternative. I am a young person, I don't want to think I am part of these ideas. I once heard a girl say "I will try it out and see how it goes", and she was talking about her future marriage as if she was betting to the horses. Since that day I knew she was destined to failure and it happened.

It's the beginning of a new year, excuse my writtings.

I wish for you the best of the years. A year of self discovery, of faith, of reinforcement of personal struggles, a year of acceptance of what you have. I hope that kindness grows in people's hearts around the world this year. Watch out for those waves of panic and the fabrication of lies that trouble and disturb our intimate realities. I hope that commitment grows with those who have less, that compassion is multiplied to others.

I think the best gift we could give is our time to those we love and love us, just time.

Life is a breeze, so let's breathe happiness and contaminate others.

Have a wonderful year 2007.

BENDITA TU LUZ

Bendita tu Luz

Mana & Juan Luis Guerra

BENDITO EL LUGAR Y EL MOTIVO DE ESTAR AHí, BENDITA LA COINCIDENCIA. BENDITO EL RELOJ QUE NOS PUSO PUNTUAL AHí. BENDITA SEA TU PRESENCIA. BENDITO DIOS POR ENCONTRARNOS EN EL CAMINO Y DE QUITARME ESTA SOLEDAD DE MI DESTINO. BENDITA LA LUZ, BENDITA LA LUZ DE TU MIRADA, BENDITA LA LUZ, BENDITA LA LUZ DE TU MIRADA, DESDE EL ALMA. BENDITOS OJOS QUE ME ESQUIVABAN, SIMULABAN DESDéN QUE ME IGNORABA, Y DE REPENTE SOSTIENES LA MIRADA. BENDITO DIOS POR ENCONTRARNOS EN EL CAMINO Y DE QUITARME ESTA SOLEDAD DE MI DESTINO. BENDITA LA LUZ, BENDITA LA LUZ DE TU MIRADA, BENDITA LA LUZ, BENDITA LA LUZ DE TU MIRADA, OOH. DIVINA DE ESTA SUERTE, DEL BUEN TINO, DE ENCONTRARTE JUSTO AHí, EN MEDIO DEL CAMINO. GLORIA AL CIELO DE ENCONTRARTE AHORA, LLEVARTE MI SOLEDAD Y COINCIDIR EN MI DESTINO, EN EL MISMO DESTINO. BENDITA LA LUZ,BENDITA LA LUZ DE TU MIRADA, BENDITA LA LUZ, BENDITA LA LUZ DE TU MIRADA, BENDITA MIRADA, OH, BENDITA MIRADA DESDE EL ALMA. TU MIRADA, OH OH, BENDITA, BENDITA, BENDITA MIRADA BENDITA TU ALMA Y BENDITA TU LUZ. TU MIRADA, OH OH OH OH, TE DIGO ES TAN BENDITA TU LUZ AMOR, AMOR. Y TU MIRADA, OH OH. AMOR AMOR, QUé BENDITA TU MIRADA...AMOR.

:::Everyday:::

Feeling incomplete was what it used to drown me, just being without a reason, it haunted me while you didnt shine, the world was simple and gray, like ashes and my job was to imagine you, draw you, create you and destroy you every dawn and now I have the miracle of your existence, what day is not happiness? what night is not a delicious experience? it is you who creates me and keeps me alive everyday.

::I've heard it is possible::

I've heard that it's possible to grow up - I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don't go our way, we whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark, we look for comfort where we can find it, and we hope - against all logic, against all experience. Like children, we never give up hope...

"I have no choice" .-_ She said

Today I have decided not to think of you anymore...this feeling is hurting me, it's to much for me. Here I am, remembering those moments, trying to understand why aren't you here. And I am still here, waiting for you to decide to come back someday.

It's that taste, the taste in your lips. A drug that poisons me and makes me mad. It's that smell, the smell of your hair, a scent that remains in my skin. I can't forget that time when you loved me. And now that you are not here I miss you and I love you more than ever. You'll never come back.

And I am here, breathing out the feelings of my love for you, and I am getting out of here and tying to start a new empty life without you.

Because without you now...I have no choice but to let you go.

Summer Time at Mville

Inspired by

"Motorcycle Driveby" and my dearest friend Emilia Conde.

Summer time and the wind is blowing outside Manhattanville and I don't know what I'm doing on this campus, the sun is always in my eyes, it crashes through the windows and I'm sleeping on my bunkbed when you came to visit me. That's when I knew that I could never have you. I knew that before you did. Still I'm the one who's stupid and there's this burning like there's always been. I never been so alone and I've never been so alive.

I have visions of you on a subway train, the cigarette ash flies in your eyes and you don't mind, you smile, and say the world doesn't fit with you. I don't believe you, you're so serene, careening through the universe. Your axis on a tilt , you're guiltless and free. I hope you take a piece of me with you.

There's things I'd like to do that you don't believe in. I would like to build something, but we'll never see them happen. And there's this burning, like there's always been. I've never been so alone and I've never been so alive.

Where's the soul I want to know? New York City is evil. The surface is everything but I could never do that. Someone would see through that. And this is the last time we'll be friends again. I'll get over you, you'll wonder who I am and there's this burning just like there's always been.

Mville's never been so alone and it's never been so alive. So alive without everyone else, without you.

I'll go home to the coast. It'll start to rain and I'll paddle out on the water alone, I'll taste the salt and taste the pain.

I'm not thinking of you again. Summer dies and swells rise, the sun goes down in my eyes. See this rolling wave darkly coming to take me home and I've never been so alone and so alive.