::I've heard it is possible::

I've heard that it's possible to grow up - I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don't go our way, we whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark, we look for comfort where we can find it, and we hope - against all logic, against all experience. Like children, we never give up hope...

"I have no choice" .-_ She said

Today I have decided not to think of you anymore...this feeling is hurting me, it's to much for me. Here I am, remembering those moments, trying to understand why aren't you here. And I am still here, waiting for you to decide to come back someday.

It's that taste, the taste in your lips. A drug that poisons me and makes me mad. It's that smell, the smell of your hair, a scent that remains in my skin. I can't forget that time when you loved me. And now that you are not here I miss you and I love you more than ever. You'll never come back.

And I am here, breathing out the feelings of my love for you, and I am getting out of here and tying to start a new empty life without you.

Because without you now...I have no choice but to let you go.

Summer Time at Mville

Inspired by

"Motorcycle Driveby" and my dearest friend Emilia Conde.

Summer time and the wind is blowing outside Manhattanville and I don't know what I'm doing on this campus, the sun is always in my eyes, it crashes through the windows and I'm sleeping on my bunkbed when you came to visit me. That's when I knew that I could never have you. I knew that before you did. Still I'm the one who's stupid and there's this burning like there's always been. I never been so alone and I've never been so alive.

I have visions of you on a subway train, the cigarette ash flies in your eyes and you don't mind, you smile, and say the world doesn't fit with you. I don't believe you, you're so serene, careening through the universe. Your axis on a tilt , you're guiltless and free. I hope you take a piece of me with you.

There's things I'd like to do that you don't believe in. I would like to build something, but we'll never see them happen. And there's this burning, like there's always been. I've never been so alone and I've never been so alive.

Where's the soul I want to know? New York City is evil. The surface is everything but I could never do that. Someone would see through that. And this is the last time we'll be friends again. I'll get over you, you'll wonder who I am and there's this burning just like there's always been.

Mville's never been so alone and it's never been so alive. So alive without everyone else, without you.

I'll go home to the coast. It'll start to rain and I'll paddle out on the water alone, I'll taste the salt and taste the pain.

I'm not thinking of you again. Summer dies and swells rise, the sun goes down in my eyes. See this rolling wave darkly coming to take me home and I've never been so alone and so alive.